Expired Cockroach Clusters
by lululight
Summary: Hermione and Ron deal with the challenges of a long term relationship while struggling to plan a muggle and magic wedding. Short Ron/Hermione fluff.
1. Chapter 1

"Ugh, I hate this stupid fucking thing." Hermione yanked on the zipper to her skirt. She was determined that there was something wrong with it. The option of her having gained weight was unacceptable and nothing that she had time to deal with today.

"Hermione?" Ron leaned his head out of the bathroom. He had a toothbrush and suds in his mouth. His hair was disheveled and eyes still had traces of sleep. He was wearing only a pair of faded striped pajama pants. His bare chest looked pale in the dim light of their shared apartment.

"I wasn't talking to you!" Hermione snapped. She yanked on the zipper harder. It slipped up a half an inch. She held her breath and yanked again. Ron shrugged and turned away. She heard the sounds of him spitting in the sink and gargling. He made the stupidest sounds when he gargled. Normally she didn't mind but this morning everything was bothering her.

"I just could have sworn you said fuck and you never said fuck." Ron rummaged through a drawer looking for suitable clothes. He pulled out some dark professional looking robes and started to pull them over his head.

"Not those." Hermione said exasperatedly. "We're going muggle today remember? My parents are meeting us for lunch." She wiggled the zipper up a tiny bit more and gasped. She only had a few centimeters left to close the skirt.

"And I have that stupid last minute lunch meeting remember?" Ron straightened his robes with an experienced flick. "I told you last night. If you don't remember that's your own fault." There was a hint of venom in his voice. Hermione blushed. She had been drinking quite a bit of wine last night in preparation for meeting her parents.

"Yeah, well….." Her voice trailed off. The truth was even though she loved her parents this meeting had her frazzled. Things were kind of crazy and she knew there would be some awkward questions. Even though it had been 10 years since she joined the wizarding world they remained apprehensive about her life. They constantly worried even more so after all that she had put them through during the last dark year of Voldemort's life. She felt that if she even for a second acted like her life wasn't perfect they would start worrying and making small comments against the wizarding world as they had in the past.

Of course she wished that she could tell all this to Ron. A couple years ago she would have. It was just that lately things had become stiff between them. Conversations were left unsaid. Longer hours were worked at the office. More alcohol was consumed. She wished that she didn't know the cause of it all. Wished she could pretend it was a slump that they would grow out of in time. However she couldn't ignore the facts. All of the hostility had started exactly four months ago with the ring that Ron had put on her finger.

She held her breath and finally yanked the zipper up the rest of the way.

"Nevermind." She tried to put on a cheery voice. "I'll see you after work then?"

"Yeah"

"Tell hi to Harry for me?"

"Sure."

"And Ron?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you." She hated how desperate her voice sounded. He turned to face her a little startled. They hadn't said the L word in days. His eyes were tired but she saw some of what she was feeling too. Maybe all was not lost.

"I love you too.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hermione!" Her parents were waving excitedly from the bus station shelter. Rain was pouring down around them. Hermione was drenched to the bone. Most witches and wizards simply cast water repelling spells in rain. She hadn't thought to bring and umbrella and didn't even know where to find one.. She took a big breathe and plastered a big smile on her face.

"Mom! Dad!" She ran to embrace them. Even in her current emotional state she was still glad to see them. She sunk into the warmth of their hug and her smile became more genuine.

"Everything go okay?" Her mother asked hurriedly as they dashed to the parking lot. "I know it's probably been a while since you took a bus."

"Mum, I don't think I'll forget how a bus works."

"Of course of course. How does that café on the corner sound? That was always your favorite."

"Sure."

The café was pleasantly warm. Hermione excused herself to the bathroom and cast a quick drying charm. She winced at her hair in the mirror. Rain always made her bushy hair even bushier. She tried smoothing it out but finally gave up and went back to her parents table. There were sandwiches already served.

"We went ahead and ordered for you dear." Her father said smiling. "I hope the ham and jam is still your favorite."

"It is!" Hermione said with mock enthusiasm. She took a big bite and smiled.

"So….." Her mother started. It was clear she wouldn't be wasting any time. "Have you settled on a date yet?"

"Mum…." Hermione rolled her eyes. "Do we have to do this now?"

"Oh I know you said October and all but after that announcement you haven't said a word."

"I've been busy. I have a job you know."

"Of course you do sweetie." Her father said bracingly. He shot warning eyes at her mother who merely shrugged. "I think what your mother is trying to say is that you just don't seem as excited about it as you were in the beginning. Is everything okay?" His eyes were full of concern.

"Planning a magic and muggle blended wedding is a bit more complicated than I thought."

"Oh please don't use that word." Hermione's mother shuddered. "Muggle just sounds so plain and ignorant."

"Sorry mum, it's just the word we use. I never mean for it to be…"

"I know you don't but still don't use it."

"Okay, okay, a magic and non magic blended wedding then." She took another hug bite of her sanwhich hoping to close the topic.

"We just want to make sure it's still what you want." Her mother tried to sound offhand but it was clear in her eyes that she was worried. Hermione tried to see the situation from her mother's point of view. She knew if must be scary for her. Her only child was getting married to a wizard. If that wasn't therapy induced she didn't know what was.

"Of course I do." Hermione smiled her big smile, hoping to dispel all of their doubts long with her own. "Ron is great. I love him."

"And we love him!" Her father said quickly. "You've just seemed a little off about it that's all."

"I see." Hermione pushed her food around on her plate. She tried to stay calm but all of the hostility that had been brewing beneath the surface for months started to push through. "Would you be worried if he wasn't a wizard?" The questions had meant to sound innocent but instead her words turned cold. Her mother gasped.

"Hermione, you know that is not the problem. Don't accuse of judging him or you for that. You know better."

"Do I mom? What if I had said that thing were a little rough between Ron and I right now? Would you talk me through it?" She narrowed her eyes. "Or would you offer up my old bedroom and that receptionist job again?"

"Hermione…" Her mother was looking panicked at her outburst but Hermione couldn't seem to stop.

"Because in case you haven't noticed I am a witch. I can't just opt out of this world….No." Hermione pushed her chair from the table and stood up. "I can't do this right now. I just can't" She fumbled for her purse and coat.

"No sweetie don't go." Her father stood up as well. He reached for her but she jerked her arm out of his reach. "We just wanted to talk. You don't have to do anything you don't want too!" She walked away as he yelled after her. They were causing a scene. The other patrons were shooting them glances, wondering what the source of their argument was. She ignored their stares and ran into the street. The rain assaulted her again. Once she had made it to the alley she ducked in a corner and apparated. She didn't care if anyone saw.

Hermione instantly appeared in her living room. She stood silently in the middle of the room for a few seconds. Water was dripping from her hair and clothes. She halfheartedly tried the drying charm again but it only made her more tired. She slumped onto the coach. There was a loud snarl as the strained zipper in her skirt tore. She started to laugh at how ridiculous the situation was but the laughter quickly turned into tears. Furiously wiping eyes she rolled on her side and drifted off to sleep. She didn't want to think anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

A loud crunching sound woke her. She slowly opened her eyes. The room was dim. It was evening already. The local quidditch match commentary was playing softly from the radio. She didn't realize how long she had been out, luckily she had taken the whole afternoon off. Such a shame that it had been wasted.

Another loud crunch interrupted her thoughts. Ron sat on the other side of the couch. He was munching on his usual after work snack. She started to sit up to scold him for getting crumbs everywhere but she suddenly felt his touch. He rubbed her back soothingly.

"You okay?" His eyes looked concerned. Even when he was as tired as she was he was worried about her. Something broke inside of her. She tried to nod but instead started crying with huge racking sobs. He set down his snack and pulled her into his arms. "Shhhh…." He stroked her hair. She realized as he stroked it that he must have cast a drying charm on her while she slept. This thought made her only cry harder. She continued to cry for a long time. Finally her sobs slowed and her tears dried.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's just…."

"Been bloody rough." Ron finished her sentence for her. "I know." He rubbed her arm soothingly. "It has been for me too. I don't know what happened. We just kinda…" He shook his head.

"Fucked it up?" Hermione said with a giggle.

"Yeah that sounds about right." Ron said with a grin. His eyes were bright in the dark. "It was all good and then we started trying to plan the wedding." He sighed and let her snuggle against him. "And you kinda blew up about the muggle stuff cause I was a jerk about it." He glanced at her gaging her reaction to his words.

"And you shut me down cause you wouldn't know an emotionally mature conversation if it bit you on the bum." Hermione was starting to smile.

"And you started acting haughty cause you always think you are the high and mighty emotionally stable one." Hermione snorted at his words.

"I think I proved just how emotionally stable I was tonight." She said between giggles.

"Eh, you still have me beat. " Ron said with a wink.

"How about tomorrow we give the planning thing another go?"

"I can do that." He squeezed her arm and reached for his snack.

"So what's on the menu tonight?"

"Cockroach clusters."

"No seriously." She grabbed a piece of candy and took a large bite. "Blergh!" She immediately spat it back out. "Are these seriously cockroach clusters?" Ron howled with laughter.

"Yeah," He said still chuckling. "We had been ignoring each other so neither of us got groceries. I had some leftover from George's party."  
"But that was six months ago! So you are sitting in the dark eating expired cockroach clusters and listening to the match?" She started laughing too.

"Yes, I'm living the dream." Ron said sarcastically. He took a big purposeful bite and chomped loudly with his mouth partially open to give her the full view of the tiny legs and parts of the bug.

"Gross!" Hermione shoved him off the couch laughing. Soon there were overcome with close to hysterical laughter. Tears were welling in Hermione's eyes. Four months of tension seemed to dissolve entirely.

"Okay." Hermione said, wiping her eyes and trying to catch her breath. "Okay, I cannot in good conscience let me fiancée live like this." Ron rolled his eyes and took another bite, still chuckling. "I'm going to cook you a decent meal."

"I told you silly, we don't have anything else. Do you honestly think I would be eating these in anything other than an act of desperation?" He waved a cluster in from of her nose trying to prove a point.

"Do you honestly think I would live with _the_ Ronald Weasley that eats anything in sight without a secret food stash?"

"You wouldn't…." Ron said with a tone that was only half amused.

"Oh I would."

"Where? Have you had this the whole time? I've been surviving on junk food for days!"

"I'm not telling you where."

"What are you going to do? Ask me to turn my back while you go sneak of and get your secret cache of food?" He smiled mischievously. "I thought you were supposed to be the bright one."

"Petrificus Totalus!" She cried suddenly brandishing her wand. Ron turned suddenly ridged and fell to the floor. Hermione stood up and surveyed his stiff features and shocked expression. "I am still the bright one." She said with a smirk.


End file.
